Open Arms & Open Heart
Childhood, college, marriage, babies, moving to the Outer Banks on a whim, starting businesses here, buying our fixer upper beach house... All very different aspects of my life but they have had one very steady constant... my Mom. My mom has always supported me 100% and her faith in me has never wavered. She was a Pittburgh Mom... now she's a Charlotte Mom. Hopefully, someday...she will be an Outer Banks Mom...(hint hint...nudge..)
Growing up I always had this incredible human cheering me on, daring me to dream bigger than even my wildest dreams and to reach higher. She was a constant source of love and care and remains that way to this very day. My mom always knew if someone was lying, sad or hiding something. (It's like a 6th sense. Amazing now, not that cool when I was in middle school.) She is stronger than any lady that I know and I am who I am today because of her example of love, kindness and strength. This lady drove a 90 mile drive to work every single day while I was in middle school so that she could help support us growing up. She always made any house into a home with her fixer-upper, handy lady ways and she taught me so much about putting my best foot forward no matter the circumstance. I'm honored to be one of her daughters.
But you know... I know she is going to read this and think back about her motherhood journey and she might not feel like it was all daisies and roses. Can I get a THANK GOD?!?! Thank God that she feels that way. Because I feel like I'm falling so short of my goals as a Mom. Don't we all second guess ourselves in this Motherhood journey? So you know... if this saint of a woman doesn't feel like she was perfect 100% of the time when I was a kid...then maybe I have a small glimmer of hope that my kids won't remember my imperfections... I think the secret to Motherhood is that even when we don't feel like we were doing our best, or when we feel like we yelled too much or didn't do enough... that's when we really are! That's when the unconditional, crazy, all consuming love comes out of us. Just the shear fact that we think we aren't doing enough for our children or that we aren't enough... is probably the case and point that we ARE enough! I mean, only the best Mom's worry, right?
Yesterday I got a text from a business partner and friend with her concern about her new baby boy who is wiggling up to the top of his crib and waking himself up at night. Minutes later, I received a text from my bestie about her daughters well-checkup and height and weight. This morning, on my way out of the house I spoke to my retired neighbor about her 30 year old daughter who is stuggling to find work and support herself as a single mom. Being a mom is a constant state of worry and love. It is so easy to let these questions creep in. "Am I doing enough?" I know that with each season of motherhood, the time flies by. It just never feels like we ever have enough time to do it all.
Of all of the lessons that my Mom taught me through life, "How to Be a Mom" was the best one yet. My Mom never ruled with an iron fist clenched tight or arms crossed on her chest. My Mom loves with open arms and an open heart. Every. Single. Day! These seasons are quick and God is calling me to love like my Mom does! Open arms and an open heart, exactly the way that God loves us! 60 years of total perfection. Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world.