Mom Time... Mom Guilt... same thing, right? But why? This is something I truly struggle with and probably not for the reason that you would expect.
I struggle with this concept of Mom Guilt because I just don't feel it. I also don't agree with it. Probably because I seriously have the greatest husband ever who has never once made me feel it... But, I've started talking to other moms about it and I hear so many of the same reasons for the Mom Guilt.
"My husband worked all day, then he comes home and he doesn't want to babysit the kids all night."
Um.. WHAT? Why the heck not? Yeah, tiny humans are mind-boggling little creatures but they are so so so awesome. Even in their chaos, they are wonderful and if the children that you are genetically programmed to love aren't fun to spend a night with, then I have a great therapist that I can refer you to... Oh.. that and DAD'S DON'T BABYSIT. Babysitters babysit and you pay them...
"I have too much to do at home."
Yeah, me too but I can promise you when I am old and gray I won't care a lick that I went to bed with a clean kitchen and all of the laundry folded every single night. I'll be really happy that I took 30 minutes and read a book that encouraged me to be fearless or made me think deeply. I will find warmth in the memories of a girls night out. I will be grateful that I sat in my car in the peace and quiet and called my Grandma to catch up.
"I'm too tired."
Here's the deal guys, this week I had dinner plans with my Mom's Group from our church. But I knew that if I didn't get together with some of my other girlfriends (the ones without kids yet) soon, I wouldn't have another chance for weeks and their friendship is so important to me. For a few days, I tossed the two nights around trying to decide which one I would attend. Since I couldn't decide I mentioned it to my husband and he was quick to encourage me to attend both. This isn't some "happy wife, happy life" situation. It's a partnership where we value what is important to each other.
I said all of that to say that this idea of Mom Time doesn't have to be some elaborate event or girls night out. My Mom Time last week happened when I was sitting on the floor of my daughter's dance studio chatting with one of my favorite co-mamas about everything from sick family members, to traveling, to home renovation ideas. We talked about kids haircuts and what we were making for dinner for the tiny humans with enormous appetites... it was a full hour of bliss. I left feeling recharged and grateful for her friendship. I didn't feel guilty, I didn't feel like I left anything undone at home, I felt happy.
This week at my Mom's Group dinner I chatted with Mom's that are twice my age and Mom's that are my same age. We laughed, we talked about our kids and we gave each other encouragement on simple struggles and on big issues. We shared stories on hope and salvation and we shared stories about potty training and essential oils. It was needed conversation and I am grateful for it. We had a delicious dinner at Rooster's Southern Kitchen in Kill Devil Hills and they even tucked us away in a private room which was perfect!
The night before, I grabbed dinner at The Rundown Cafe with 3 of my girlfriends. All four of us are in different seasons of our lives and it's such a fulfilling time whenever we get together. Our common thread is creativity and we all truly encourage each other in our own creative avenues. It's incredible to have a group of girlfriends like this and I'm so glad we all made the time for it even if we did all have crazy red eye in our picture :)
Am I the only one that wants to eliminate this Mom Guilt game? Shoot, we are apparently expected to worry about every single morsel of food that our children eat and drink... Are they taking vitamins? Are their grades okay? Should they be sleeping over at that particular friends house? Am I spoiling them? Did I give them enough?
Hey, Momma... you are enough. You are worth it. You are deserving.
I'm heading to one of my travel bucket list locations this weekend with my own Mom, sisters and daughter to kick off my birthday month! I'm leaving my husband to babysit our son for almost 5 entire days... The nerve of me, eh?!